"You Can't
Polish a Turd!"
By Scott Hardigree
In my business I see a lot products and services,
all of which I'm responsible to promote. Conceptually there are
some winners, honorable mentions and out right stinkers. At the
end of the day, if sales are less than projections, the knee-jerk
reaction is to fault your marketing efforts. "Was it the strategy,
the creative, the list?—Lets try it again, this time only different."
Sound familiar? If so, sit back you’re not going
to like this.
You’re product or service may be a stinker.
The classic advice dispensed by self-styled gurus
is to make sure that your "new thing" addresses an immediate need.
"Sell aspirin, not vitamins" they say.
Even in today’s organic-wheat-grass-drinking
culture, it's easier to convince some guy to part with 8 bucks
if you're eliminating a bitchin’ hangover rather than simply enhancing
his general health and making his pee smell funny.
Sounds good right? I cut my teeth on that catchy
yet simple advice, unfortunately it’s wrong. The problem with
this mantra is that it limits your efforts to solving obvious
problems. For example, "party boy" knows he has a headache; they
may not be aware that he’s on the verge of coming down with scurvy
and could really use some Vitamin C.
The alternative to the aspirin/vitamin dichotomy
is the "Microwave Test".
To determine if you’re product or service passes
the test, ask yourself three simple questions:
Does it have a clear benefit?
Does it deliver immediate satisfaction?
Is it easy to use?
1. Does it have a clear benefit?
Yep. It's a solution that found a problem – for those of us old
enough to remember, taking an hour to cook dinner wasn't considered
a slow and painful death until the microwave came along.
2. Does it deliver immediate satisfaction?
Duh, it’s a microwave. You can use it anytime. And besides, who
doesn't like to watch a cup or bowl spin around? And if you’re
looking for cheap entertainment you can nuke a piece of aluminum
foil. Oh, try this too. Lick a piece of popcorn and put it to
your ear. No. It has nothing to do with a microwave or marketing
but it’s pretty cool.
3. Is it easy to use?
You know it, just push a few buttons and ding! Beefaroni's ready,
hot and plenty of it.
Long story short, even though the microwave is
more of a vitamin than an aspirin, its ability to fill an immediate
need and deliver instant gratification makes it a clear winner.
Even if your existing offerings fail the test,
you can use the criteria to reshape them. A modern example is
how Palm rebounded from its failed Zoomer handheld (what a piece
of "S" that was).
The original PDAs failed the microwave test.
The benefits were unclear, the gratification was delayed by complexity,
and ease of use was fatally crippled because it wasn't easy to
use.
Palm then delivered the Palm Pilot, which addressed
those issues and passed the test. The Palm Pilot had a clear benefit
(a date and address book on crack), was immediately gratifying
(you could synch with your existing contact database), and was
incredibly simple to use (no boot time, no extras, just the facts
ma'am). And like the microwave, the Palm wound up creating its
own immediate need. Just ask the millions of—look at me I'm so
cool—Palm junkies around the world. The new logo didn't hurt either.
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